THE
BIG BANG THEORY
EPISODE
3.
BY
CHARLIE
DIMECH.
Raj in Space.
Raj
makes use of a powerful telescope, via the internet, courtesy of his friend Howard who works for NASA, to impress his new
girlfriend,
only to discover a new
and totally unforseen comet heading directly for earth. At the critical moment when all seems lost for the planet,
he learns he has just been set up by a flashing "GOTCHA" from Howard, on the screen.
However this has a devastating
effect on his new girlfriend who is so put off by the whole thing that she runs away proclaiming they are all crazy, when
Raj tries to explain what happened.
scene 1.
In Raj's apartment looking at the screen with his new girlfriend.
Here is………..(he manipulates the screen like a pro), and here is
(he manipulates the screen again), and here is…..holy crap, whats that? (He adjust the screen, brings up more pictures………)
It looks like a huge comet coming directly towards the earth. Girlfriend is horrified.
He furiously shuffles through a half dozen pages. then gets the "GOTCHA" page.
then howard comes on the screen
Howard: Hi buddy. Then
moves his head around as though he can't think of anything to say.
Raj:
Well it was all just a practical joke, as you can see.
g/friend: Girlfriend
runs out of the apartment shouting "You're all crazy."
Raj:
Raj is stunned at first. then surges it off with a "Well, that went well."
Raj:
Picks up phone and dials . Thanks a lot Howard. Thanks to you I may never get a girlfriend again.
Howard: Relax! There
are more lonely girls where she came from.
Raj:
I'm never going back there again either. She may be there and it would be too embarrassing.
.
end scene
scene 2. Raj, Howard, Leonard are in Leonard
and Sheldon's apartment, drinking tea.
Howard: Apparently Raj wasn't the only person
spooked by our little spoof, I accidentally left pictures on the website and there was a cafe at NASA. (Leonard
looks alarmed)
(squirming) It's alright they can't trace them back to me.
Raj: (slight
pause then.) what do you mean by "our little spook" who else was involved.
Leonard: All of us. looks down sheepishly.
knock at the door.
Leonard: Who is it.
Behind door: NASA.
SHOCK AND PANIC SETS IN WITH ALL PRESENT.
Raj: Now you've done
it. I'll really get deported this time.
Leonard: Just calm down
goes to the door, opens it
sheldon enters
Sheldon: Bazzinga. (Walks to the kitchen carrying
a bag of groceries) Heard you talking while I was fumbling for my key.
Everyone relaxes.
end of scene 2.
scene 3.
Howard and Raj are on the roof of the building with a large telescope.
Raj: At least
this time I know what i am looking at.
Howard: Spot any pretty women on Venus and
you get a free ride in a space shuttle.
Raj: How desperate
do you think I am looking for pretty women on Venus?
Howard. (sarcastic humor) Yeah, about that much.
Leonard enters the roof top, with Penny giggling.
They have been drinking.
Leonard: Penny.
Penny: Leonard?
The others stop what they are doing and watch.
Leonard: …. It doesn't matter.
Howard: Sure it does, Leonard, we want to hear this
too.
Leonard and Penny turn to face them for the first time, then quickly make their escape through the door and back down
the stairs.
On the first landing Penny starts giggling again and says
Penny: Now what was it you were going
to tell me Leonard…..or ask me.
Leonard: Well seeing as how we are getting along
so well again I was wondering if you would accompany me to the ……….
Penny: To the what, Leonard?
Leonard: (Silliness, with fake sincerity) To the
school prom!
They both start giggling even more.
Penny: Only if you promise not to
wear that ridiculous T-shirt.
Leonard: (mocking) why whats wrong with it?
They descend the steps further and Leonard lets out a loud mocking cry
Leonard: Whats wrong with it!?
Penny: OK wear it but over your
head so no one can see who I'm dating wearing that ridiculous T-shirt.
They both let out a raucous laugh.
end of scene.
scene 4. NASA
MISSION CONTROL.
Ist scene controller:
NASA, we have problem
Voiceover ISSC on loudspeaker : What is it?
Ist screen controller:
Our telescope main mission seems to be acting erratically.
ISCC:
In what way?
!st SC:
We don't know. At the moment its targeting Venus which is way outside its mission scope.
ISCC:
Roger.
Ist SC:
Have aliens taken control?
tag comes on screen saying response deleted for national security.
!st SC:
National emergency noted. Beginning recovery operation now.
Scene 5.
Raj and Howard
on rooftop.
Raj:
shit: What
is that on the screen?
Howard:
Oh, oh, Mission
Control. Turn it off! Turn it off!
Tv screen goes dead.
THE
END.